Small - town girl

Hi,

My name's Mandima Qunta, born of a high-school principal, who practiced her craft on us in my childhood.
Which has made me the person I am today.

You see my mum thinks the world of me & rightfully so, as Im the model child :

- I don't have a boyfriend/child
-I've never been arrested
-Im not an addict
- I respect my elders
- I always say please & thank you

My friends' parents looove them some Mandi, as Im a humble, sweet thing, & their kids are blessed to have me around, purely based on :

- They've never seen me with a boy
- They've never seen me drunk
- They've never heard me swear
- I know most bible verses & all Sunday school fables
- I looove kids & they me

You see in a town the size of my fingerprint everbody's aching to point a finger at ANYTHING & talk under their breath(s) as the subject walks by.

So knowing how proud me Mam is, why not keep my halo upright & polished , after all a mother's success is determined by her off-spring's behaviour.

So let me be the KWT poster-kid just a lil bit, if only to make Her Highness smile...

Fiery Festive to all...

Patty

It's purely coincedental that I'm blogging a month later on yet again a Sunday...

But as insomnia kicks in yet again in a city I dread, I remember that there's a virtual avenue for me where I can say absolute squat & still walk away feeling good about myself...

I'll try to be more humane in this blog, as the last one got me into hot water with a good friend of mine, who was slightly offended, so what I'll do this time is to keep it simple, as that apparently is more...

I celebrated my birthday a few days back & it turned out better than I'd hoped, thank you to a group of dear friends, who have become more anchors than colleagues to me - Hammer ladies I won't mention any names.
As this is the 1st job Ive ever commited myself to, I must say I've experienced a lot of growth as a person , seeing as I've now spent two of my birthdays there.
In the industry Im in, your work inevitably becomes your life, & it only complicates things further when you're a team of no more than 10 people : majority being women & it's only through His grace that my banter has led to a missing body-part!
I thank this amazing team for accepting all that I come with, which is more good than bad ^^,).

With the coming of my birthday each year, is the realisation that the year's gone & I can honestly say this has been a whiplash of a year & it reallly was KE NAKO for all that's come to pass.

Im damn proud of my achievements this year & the amount of responsibility this absent-minded, care-free soul has taken upon itself.

I fail dismally at self-praise so tonight indulge me as I'm about to list all my 2010 achievements :

- My thoughtless banter hasn't landed me in any fatal brawls
-I got myself into a company that dint need me initially, but with a bit of hindsight see me as a Godsend.
-I moved to a totally new place, with no set plans or map drawn out as to what was to happen : & I can look back & say that being impulsive is BOSS! ( CTN you're loved )
- I pay my own rent, eat sarmies each night & have promised myself that next year I won't be a pedestrian.
- I've befriended angels, who somehow managed to calm the demons in me.
-I've realised being me's the best thing I can ever offer anybody, regardless of whether they accept it / not.
- I think I know what I want from a man & up until I see find what I want, I refuse to settle for anything average ( yes a convent may be my home soon )
- Im a loyal, loving & caring person who's unashamedly possessive over what she loves.
- I make more than 3 people smile per day, fuck Ive indirectly saved people from strokes, eating disorders, heart failure & ultimately suicide due to my foolishness.
- Ive made my mum proud, & THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS!

They say be grateful for what you have, then the blessings will smother you.
I may not always be glad for what I have, as it's only natural for an ambitious soul to constantly strive for more, but it feels good to every once in a while sit down & give yourself a real pat on the back!

What have you done to make yourself happy ?

Sunday : the day of pretence, rest & reflection

The holiest day of the week is upon us, some may call it The Sabbath & some will simultaneously argue that Saturday is such a day, but having grown up in a household where we uphold this day, I'll tell all the 7th day Adventists, Jews etc to indulge me just for this  post...

Funny how most will be holy mofos today, infiltrating their social media pages with His word & yet a few hours earlier they were boogeying in/on Long...

Aaah the world gave birth to hypocrites, and as the guardian it shall continue to mind-kcuf us to believe in whatever makes us feel better about ourselves....

You see you're allowed to drink yourself motherless on Saturday & wake up on Sunday praising & worshipping His holy name, in a room full of last night's eligible drunks, now praying for their virgin wives somewhere out in the world & then on Monday you're back at work exchanging war stories about your colourful weekend.
Wow what are a beautiful & diverse species we are! So much so that the chameleon envies us for our schizophrenic multiple personalities ( as I type now, a voice is telling me this is too harsh for the average reader ), but I say to Bra Chals, not to fear we'll soon reach the age of 50 & suddenly need to have some religious sentiment, as we grow older, retire & consider what or where our afterlife will be.

If you think all the obvious religions are too constricting or overdone, never fear there's a new religion in the pipelines : Spiritual Atheism, where you're just thankful for what & who you have in your life!

You see brethren you're spoiled for choice & can belong to anything & everything for as long & as often as you see fit!

I being a mere mortal such as yourself, am too a hypocrite because I still use my youth as my crutch for all my spiritual confusion, and ask Him to bear with me.

I too still follow what I was brought up with, ie. the Lord is our God & as long as He makes me mum happy & content, He's still got my vote... praise & worship, a gifted evangelist still makes me feel annointed & it feels good knowing He's there watching over me.
 When I'll fully commit & let Him reign in my life, as His word asks, I don't know, but 1 thing I do know is faith is what you make of it.

No building, mortal or written word can ever dictate to you, what or how you're meant to feel, they're all just a reference, just like the government has laws in a country to govern the people, how you abide, is simply up to you.

That said may my God ( & whichever you pay homage to), bless your week & don't let such a heavy post as today's put you off  reading my blog, this was just a reflection, simply keeping in line with the day, I'll assume court jest as soon as my stage & scenes are on cue... watch this space!

Dankie Siyabonga.

Wednesday whirlwinds

My salutations & apologies for my scarcity, my brain has literally been around the universe in the 60 days since I last blogged.

You see friends I have been happy and scared as I grew up in a matter of weeks, as I moved from my aunt's sanctuary into my own nest, which meant that I now have to list my priorities, yes that dreaded word!

 Oh my Loyd do I hate responsibility!

I now have to think ahead, who the f*** does that, I mean life offers me the choice between a night out on the town & eating popcorn all month...
Then again considering I can't cook,so Poppy Corn & I should be well acquainted,  but the thought alone has me lisping over my imaginary, homemade gourmet meals for one.

Then there's the shopping sprees or the lack thereof, I mean when's the last time I walked into a beloved concept store & carelessly got whatever pair of sneaks I wanted, instead as I daydream about this my landlord's face comes into mind & a second later I see myself living in a flooded bridge with my stunning Nikey's, wrapped in a flea-market of a blanket...

Then there's the transport fare, each time Haagen Dazs & I plan on going on a date, my shoes start pinching me reminding me of the long walk home should we go, as there won't be cash for a taxi after that.

Arrrrgh don't even get me started on dining out...
Actually what is that, what do you do, what happens?
Oh you have to pay R50+ AND leave a tip oh YIKES, guess I'll save that trip for mummy's visit **,)

It's times like these that I wish my mum was in the same town as me, then life would be but a dream...

But then reality sets in & I sense the universe saying less yada yada, ( I need to start getting )more ching ching, or simply embrace the pauper's lifestyle.

Or it could simply just be another whirlwind of a Wednesday...

Infatuated with Life

Greetings earthlings,

I post this for you all the way from Cloud 9, where I plan on taking up permanent residence as the climate and weather here do wonders for my skin, heart & soul.

I discovered this sanctuary at the back of my head, and it's 1 of those secrets too good to keep inside, because should you do that, it finds itself out be it through your tears of joy, playful banter or  simply your raucous laughter.

Which leads to envious stares from outsiders, who'd trade shoes & socks with you, for but a second in your slops.

There's no better secret than the one shared my dear, for you now gain neighbours and pretty soon picket fences are popping up by the second on No Man's Island and there starts to be uncanny resemblance to the Bahamas...

For you see minions, in this suburb you reign supreme, and you have installed, an automatic filter which traps all negativity the minute the electric fence aka your heartbeat senses unrest.

For you see in this world sadness, depression, anger, doubt, and the most toxic : NEGATIVITY, is deemed as treason, and the minute you start sleeping with the enemy your life is the only redemption...

You see friends where I am pearly gates are but an understatement, and things are literally falling in my lap, as my love for life deepens, and I sense everyday that Joy will ask for my hand in marriage and Happiness wants me as his confidante.

So in a world where the sky's just the beginning and the clouds mere stairs, why ever would I want to return to Earth, where what we deem treason is but the order of the day?!

So whilst you contemplate and start checking your budgets & savings accounts to see how much a trip will set you back...

Know that all of this costs you nothing, but a search through the back of your mind & heart to see we're all born with silver-spoons in mouth, a tummy full of joy and a mind, heart & soul to enjoy it all...

I eagerly await your arrival be it a visit or permanently as I envision us doing the Leprechaun dance as we both finally find our pot(s) of gold at the pit of our tummies....

All things bright and beautiful...

I don't think I've enjoyed any hairstyle as I do my shaved head!

The lack of stress involved is inspirational, as I don't have to worry about which direction my hair will be facing in the morning, as right now all's a complete circle.

I no longer have to get it treated, as my shower at home keeps the cents in my pocket!

It has though managed to make me focus on my dress code as Im avoiding being mistaken for a lesbian, heck Im still hunting for my lean, rare-cut steak ^^,)!

But all truth be told, and based on all the commentary I've received virtually or in person, Im confident enough to rock it for a lil while longer than planned!

To emancipation!

BO[A]LD AND BEAUTIFUL

Today, Wednesday, the 19th of May, I did what I haven't done since 2003!
Back then it was out of necessity, but today, twas purely by choice.

I SHAVED MY HAIR OFF, yup EVEREYTHANG!
Meaning I no longer have any fringe to hide big foreheads behind, or any hair to latch braids onto, pretending to be black Rapunzel or am I unbeWEAVAble, I am simply an average [G.I] Jane, who decided to take a personal route on how I view my apprearance and see how it affects me in all spheres.

Right now I simply can't get used to the wind sending shivers down my spine, the minute a breeze  causes me a brain freeze!

I'm wary to people's reactions to me.
My sister was nice enough to utter over the phone that I'll look like a dyke and/ or... wait for it... MY DAD!
Which had me feeling sorry for her, it seems PE has done her mind more harm than good and she really needs to spread her wings...
And had me wondering why is it meant to be an insult if I look like my sperm donor, daymn I should be doing cartwheels around the block, knowing that my mum knows who my real dad is/ was which helps prove to me that I come from a REAL background, and that Jerry Springer will be minus us on his guest list.

 I then looked at what society in general thinks about bald women.
 Among females, a healthy head of hair is an indicator of youth and beauty.
 We have princess/suburban prom queen stereotypes of normality. Women need hair to have societal approval.
I then realised that my single self would remain as such, since the conformists of the dating world would overlook ALLA THIS, based on my hairstyle, which then makes me wonder if we are not perhaps all shallow mofo's playing hop-scotch with each other's emotions?



If you are a guy and you shave your head no one says anything. Unfortunately though, if you’re female, the sight of a woman’s bare scalp still makes society’s hair stand on end.
Despite how far we’ve come, beauty and sexuality remain tied to a woman’s hair. There is a certain amount of vanity in those tresses.

Social pressures regarding appearance are generally felt more strongly by women, and female head shaving is considered taboo to many people. Societal norms dictate that “girls should have long hair”. Even when baldness is caused by illness, it is taboo because it flouts conventions of acceptable femininity



So, here are my questions:
Are women who shave their heads degrading their identity?

Are bald women sexy?

What is it about a bald woman that generates so much controversy?

Why when we see a bald woman do we assume she’s a lesbian, a radical feminist, a political extremist, or a skinhead?

Why is a bald female head taboo?

What is it with this global fetish with hair?
 
And have I now made a big mistake and made myself the latest social outcast because I chose to do as I wished and not what was suggested would suit my face?
 
I feel like Saartjie Bartman as the main attraction at the circus...
 
This walk's about to make Madib's seem like a stroll in the park, pray your god[s] guard my sanity and what high esteem I have left...[sighing nervously]
 
 
A toast to my SUPERMODEL ON LIFE'S DAILY RAMP!

The lights are on, but nobody's home...

The mind is a beautiful and intriguing muscle.

Yes muscle, because it too uses up energy, just like the man's third leg,  which unfortunately takes precedence over actual thought in most situations, which's why why the world is the way it is.

How many people would agree with me if  I say most cases of violence were based on egos , and carefully-thought out decisions, where this muscle would have broken into a sweat, which means a lot of people would sleep out from exhaustion, and all decisions made in the world would be sensible?

I long for a perfect world... 

Garmin

Hello to all estranged peeps out there, know your life stopped and you became a bit paranoid wondering if this blog ever existed, due to my lack of blogging!
I sincerely apologise, I don't think I ever let on that what is now seen as human trafficking, was initially slavery, and I happen to be the victim, in it's purest form ,in what's posed as an events company....

Which is how I discovered our travelling acquaintance, called Doris Garmin, commonly known as a GPS.
Oh yes that monotonous, emotionally-challenged, programmed lady, concubine of Sir Compass, how else would she know all the world's co-ordinates come rain or sun?
Initially when you get acquainted, you really take to her, as she plays guide-dog and you eagerly anticipate her announcement of your arrival at your destination, in record time and having done that, you kindly and ever so gratefully relieve her, till your next destitution.

That my dear friends is merely the honeymoon phase, which sadly and oh so commonly, wears off after five dates, where you grudgingly notice, how much she reminds you of your spouse, when you actually meet the real them. For she becomes confused, and sends you on a wild goose chase to the most dangerous parts of the city, purely out of vengeance for whatever bitchy remark you made a month ago, be it about her weight, skin or cooking. Oh yes, even 'programs' have feelings and hold grudges, why do you think she would make you drive for an hour to a place that's ten minutes away, or make you drive in a circle, when the right exit, was 10 metres away? What, you thought, she didn't hear you when you said you wanted to replace her? These walls have ears friend, even the thoughts in your head aren't trademarked anymore...

Now imagine this scenario, a vernacular, gangster, twanging, Afrikaaps-speaking Doris?!
Thank God it's a European creation! The cussing you'd get for every time it has to recalculate would be worthy of a thesaurus! If you know anything about direct translation of English to any vernacular language, you'll understand the paragraphs you'd hear in place of sentences!
OMG I just got dizzy, just playing that out in my head, now imagine having to play Simon says, with that...
God bless the man who imposed english on us, and declared it a universal language!

That said I personally would rather follow road signs, then listen to that dyke's voice, same way that blind guy would choose a midget over that labrador as his guide dog!

Next gadget please?!

Do you think if all post stamps were this pwetty, the art of letter- writing would come back?Thus creating more jobs for all the unemployed, giving tame, bored dogs more people to chase, and birds more postboxes to camp in?

There are so many job oppurtunities if people opened their eyes and minds to it.

Happy Friday shmucks!

ULULATION SOUNDTRACK IN THE BACKGROUND

I  officially have a 2nd follower, who happens to be my favourite blonde girl to date!
She too has an awesome blog called lotsofdifferentstuff, check it out you'll love it, oh it's meant foe those who aspire for the finer things in life,so for all Hillbillys keep away!
Welcome Em hope you enjoyed your stay and come again.

A hottt mess[th]

That's exactly what I am.

I have been on more emotional rollercoasters than I care to remember.

I spend my days embracing euphoria, till some fool trips and falls [pin in hand], and bursts my bubble. To express this sudden eruption would take more blogs than I care to create. I don't understand people who come on rubbing others up the wrong tree! Really, it just makes me wonder what else their low self-esteems would drive them to do. People that know me, might say Im a hypocrite, but I beg to differ,all that rolls off my tongue is purely out of jest. My giggling self doesn't have it in her to smile through others pain. I sense people spend so much time minding their P's and Q's that they forget to F-ng relax! I would love to whisper in all humorless people's ears, just how silly they look walking around with carrots in their anuses. Yeah I said it and already apologised to my mum a few posts before, so Im home free!

So all Im saying for all the collagen-happy kids, is that it costs you more muscles frowning, than it does you smiling. So try it, all you gotta gain's that money hard-earned.

Smile kids if only to prevent you sucking on that lemon in your mouth.

STOOOOOOP THE TRAFFIC!

I OFFICIALLY HAVE my verrrrrry 1st follower,the fact that it's my cousin,doesn't stop me from envisioning the day i have a million followers![Dr.Evil laugh]

Gotta love family,thx Kish you've made my day.

XOXO

Le Raucous!

                             

From as far as I can remember I've been dictated to , on how to act as a girl ie. a lady is seen not heard and for a little ADD-diagnosed girl , I was the biggest contrast , hence my blog's name , because to be loud , carefree and blunt , almost bordering on rudeness , are all male traits right ?

Oh but of course , if you are to follow all the womanly traits passed down in each generation in almost every normal family, unless you're were raised by hippies , then it case you are pretty screwed , as everything for you's been happy-go-lucky.Which if I think about it more , means you celebrate uniqueness which is something we all subconsciously strive for. Be it in your career, family and almost always with your peers ,you wish to be known for that special something, which only you are good at.

Now why is it that my uniqueness seems to bother most people , and it's now becoming a burden?

Is my wit,personality and all-round energy so strong or similar to that of a 'man's' to the point that Im mistaken for a lesbian?

Is it so foreign for a woman to be all things radical without being hanged for it?

We so often blame 'men' for chauvinism and all that goes with it and yet we ourselves are prejudicial!

I embrace my noise and energy , and will continue ,  yes I'll struggle to find a 'man' who can handle all this ,but then again who am I to settle for anything below my standards.

When searching for a partner , find yourself the best version of you out there,insecurity will therefore be omitted in yall's contract.

So if Im to settle and there's a pure tiger-catcher out there,know that you'll have your hands full...

For I will not be maimed and submissively taken away.

Viva Le Raucous!

POP GOES THE WEASEL!!!!!!

                                           

So I decided to start a blog a while ago , inspired by my friend-colleagues whose blogs are quite unique&made me realise there's place for a ME around here too...

Before I even begin, I need to thank my mother who made sure that I got the best in life that she could afford, Im the best version of me, because of what she did.

However, there will be certain things that I'll write, which would make her bluetooth me a bitch-slap,because I'll be contradicting her teachings however,  Ma you raised me to be an individual, so before vigils are held for my excorcism, know that I value you.

Moving along,I really have no idea what to do with this blog,so I'll make it my very own brain-fart canvas,because after all beauty does lie in the eyes of the beholder & thanx to Bra Dibs[Nelson Mandela] and that nerdy Jew in America,Bill Gates,I have freedom of speech which people are at liberty to read.

I seem to think faster than I can type,so if it should happen that none of what I've posted makes sense, forgive me,I never said my dad created any languages,in fact if there a few things he could claim as his inventions it would be his offspring&boy did he make sure he had all the patency rights.

So in closing my ramblings,I'm wishing myself the best of luck&fun with this...

Who knows 1 day I might be on Noeleen [our very own Oprah] for this , and if you're planning on killing my buzz , don't bother...

So there we have it,  my very first post...

If I am to have a blog,I need to first go through some precautionary measures:

Firstly I would like to thank my dear mother,who is the reason for my eloquence in the Queen's language.The use or misuse of english in my blog is purely my own doing.

Should it happen that one shooshoo day you stumble on my blog,please don't blame this on anything but rather embrace my utilisation of my freedo